call the shots?
I used to think that circumstances force me to take control. But now, I question myself.. This reminds me of the Patron’s day interview question which was posted to me- “If you’re part of a car, what do you want to be?” I thought about it and replied “Engine bcos the other component has its own function but engine is the one bringing everything together and propel the car forward”. Even during FTB training workshops, I’m 90% of the time the coordinator. (which is also why I get sick of coordinating casual meetings with friends. I will follow you wherever you lead me to ;P )
As I continue to set agendas and structure of discussion, the same old questions came back and haunt me. Do I need to tone down a bit? Am I too dominating? Do I give others a fair chance to speak? Did I listen and take into consideration others’ opinions?
I’ve spoken to my TA about this before & he said that I can continue to lead because I’m good at it but I could be flexible. I agree that the first 10 minutes of your first meeting will automatically set the underlying ‘culture’ and ‘roles’ within the group. Silly me have unconsciously and unassumingly took up that role in my quest to be efficient. Hmmmm. I really want to take the back seat sometimes -just observing, just digesting. Not talking, not raising up points. Is that possible?
Another troubling issue is my enthusiasm & commitment. Why do I always feel that I “overly sign up” for a lot of things man? Then again, I’m not that kind who can just sit around doing nothing for the whole day (I’d love to have one of the days. But just one.) The programmes workload is coming in. Both are large-scale events which will command a lot of my attention and time soon again. I’m having a love-hate feeling towards my hectic schedule.
ps. watching the movie ‘painted skin’ is giving me morbid thoughts about life and building my skepticism of love.
gosh, i’m tired. Nights world, i’ll figure all this out soon! I will ;)
add fuel to fire
some people REALLY just know how to talk. I’m hopping mad over this. Why can’t they just disappear from the surface of Earth?
It’s like a constant battle. I can’t stand superficial smiles anymore.
f projects seriously.
