走火入魔

My head is swirling with random thoughts, each screaming out their urgency.

My heart is beating faster with every second.

I’m having bad diarrhea from the stress, the rush and the pressure.

So, this is how it feels to create a major event.

the worst day of my life

4 hours of sleep. Substandard work. DEADlines. staying up to 6am to redo my entire resume. late. broken heel. Diarrhea & not eating for the entire day. Sian-ness. Threat from finance. Scolding from mum. Pressure from everywhere.

i feel so shitty trying to answer to everyone today.

& finally, CASS (i put ur name in caps so you dun have to Ctrl F to search for your name. Heheh)

understand all of it & truly cares. i love how u pull me close & gave me your mighty big hug (:

Thanks baby! It makes me feel much better.

ps. The viewer statistics of my blog is like the stock market. Lowest- 5 (oh my loyal readers! hearts you many many!)  Highest – 50 (it’s 10 times man)

SEEEE!

how cool is she

I feel that my life is so hectic now I’m not keeping up with my standard. I’m losing focus & still being bombarded with stuffs.

I asked her, ‘heyy, do you feel bad?’

& her reply was ” he asked a question & I gave an answer. what’s there to feel bad about?’

How cool is that =)

*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*

ps. HAPPY 21st CASS & TINA! Mygod, i sang an original ’sweetified’ version of happy birthday to cass & shihui was singing Hokkien + Indian version. *laugh my head off* It’d be fun celebrating for these two of my lovelies in smu (:

walk this way

i have disturbing dreams again.

ugly side of dolphins and you. I was drowning in the waters. I can’t breathe.

i got by today clenching my teeth. too much stuffs to settle, too many last minute changes, too many unprepared and unpleasant surprises.

must, pull, through.

i wonder

how is it possible for me to not be independant when

-i’m taught to fight for what i want since young

-i’m always the one lending my shoulders

-i’m the one looking out for their backs

-i played alone

Mental notes of this CNY

They are in no particular order. Just random thoughts which sneaked past my active mind while I kept my silence & stuffed myself FAT with damn a lot of mouth-watering goodies.

-the young & old, both seeking company

-my brothers being my benefactors & my lucky color (which happened to be my current fav colour) is r.e.d *LOL*

-the heartache to see skinny baby

-so long, empathy. *do a jumping whoop* [HIGHLIGHT!]

-boring forced repetitive talks, i blissfully plugged in my music.

-the fight to keep your face on.

-i feel like a stranger, looking into the lives of these people. How much do they know about me, how much do they understand me?
it’s obvious. I won’t try too hard, I don’t belong here. [HIGHLIGHT!]

-i live in the 1960s. Drawn to the high waist skirts, the psychedelic stockings, the dramatic hair-do & make-up, the huge thick belts, the disco ball,
the ‘let’s enjoy life!’ MUSIC: square rooms, love in the 1st degree, summer rain, YMCA! [HIGHLIGHT!]
-’bimbotic?’ girls in tight-fit lovely silky dresses, visiting houses and eating new year goodies until they FIT those dresses.

-i have a soft spot for elderly. I love everything about them -their toothless grin, their wrinkled skin, their rough hands, their painfully slow movements.

-The dark velvet night sky speckled with… STARS!! **swoons continuously* [HIGHLIGHT!]

-My dream was scary. I can’t shake off that feeling it will continue on & on & on. I woke up with such a lousy mood and bad headache which lasts for as long as I thought about it.

Anws! This Chinese New Year’s resolution for me: Be Organized!

Happy Chinese New Year!!

I’d would be away in ulu Melaka kampung for new year. ):

But it would be a much needed rest and enjoyment having my favorite bak gua!

新年快乐!

Don’t miss me too much~ <3

taking a toil on me

i had a nightmare about patron’s day and finance quotations last night.

my god, stress. is taking a toil on me.

i can’t emphasize enough, im so sick and tired of it now.

good morning baltimore

I have no one to whine to. & I’m so tired my eyes are just burning in the sockets.

I have learn to put up a front for them.

I realized it has been long since I have the chance & TIME to be myself. To be the carefree me.

Winston Churchill – I have nothing to offer but blood, toil, tears, and sweat.

ps/ i met my girlfriend today & everything seems slightly better =]

I need time (Time)
Love (Love)
Joy (Joy)
I need space
Love
I need me

(Action!)

Say hello to the girl that I am
You’re gonna have to see through my perspective
I need to make mistakes just to learn who I am
And I don’t wanna be so damn protected

There must be another way
‘Cause I believe in taking chances
But who am I to say
What a girl is to do
God, I need some answers

What am I to do with my life
(You will find it out don’t worry)
How am I supposed to know what’s right
(You just got to do it your way)
I can’t help the way I feel
But my life has been so overprotected

I tell them what I like,
What I won’t,
And what I don’t
But every time I do, I stand corrected
Things that I’ve been told
I can’t believe what I hear about the world, I realize
I’m overprotected

I don’t need nobody tellin’ me just what I wanna
What I what, what, what I’m gonna (I need)
Do about my destiny
(I say no, no)
Nobody’s telling me just what I wanna do, do
I’m so fed up with people telling me to be
Someone else but me